Write About Love #3.
Over the past two years, I’ve saved a lot of your text messages. The ones that were really sweet or really funny or that just made me smile. One of my favorite texts you’ve ever sent me says “I was excited before but I was just thinking about Georgia and got really excited. I’m really excited about all the adventures we get to go on together.”
You sent that to me a few days after we booked our flights to Georgia. We had only been dating for a few months, and I told you that you should fly to Georgia with me in the summer to visit my parents. I think it was a really big deal to you, and you were apprehensive about it for about a week, not sure if you should or shouldn’t, but you finally decided to come with me.
We’ve had a lot of really amazing adventures together. Our first adventure, before we were even dating, to Camano Island and then our second trip on the subsequent Valentine’s Day, to commemorate the adventure that brought us so much closer than we had ever been.
The two times we went to Georgia together, the first of which you were sicker than a dog and thought you were going to die on the flight there. You didn’t, and you got better and we went to the beach and swam in the Atlantic Ocean and saw dolphins and then I rode on your back in the water and pretended to be a dolphin girl. The second time we went to Georgia, we went to the beach again and climbed a million steps up to the top of a lighthouse, looking down on a tiny world from such great heights.
We drove to Winthrop from your home in Yakima for my friend’s wedding. It was such a long drive, through inclement weather, that brought us to the wedding venue just minutes before the ceremony started. But it was one of the most beautiful drives, through tall mountains and snow-covered ground and warm sunlight. We took the scenic drive back to Seattle, stopping frequently at sites of beauty to take pictures.
We took a weekend trip to Portland with some friends to see Mates of State. We stayed at Grant’s house and went to a sleek bar for Alyssa’s birthday, where it just happened to be queer night, and danced together alongside same-sex couples. We saw Mates of State on a Sunday night and had to drive back to Seattle after the show was over so that we wouldn’t miss our Monday classes. The other passengers that rode in my car fell asleep, but you stayed awake, even though you were so tired, and talked to me the whole way home so that I wouldn’t fall asleep too.
We drove up to Canada to visit my brother on his campus. It was the first time you had ever been out of the country and you were really excited.
We drove out to my aunt’s house in Skamokawa, in the middle-of-nowhere farm country, and stayed the night with her. We had great conversations over a homecooked meal, we looked through old photo albums with pictures of my parents from when they were dating, when they were close to our age. We were shown a treasure trove of quilts that my aunt made, and when she gave me her old sewing machine, we took apart the sewing table and maneuvered it into the back of your car. We spent the afternoon in her garden filled with dahlias, standing amongst the brilliant colors and delicate lives of these flowers. Then we drove out to the beach and kicked around in the sand for the rest of the day.
We flew to Colorado for your best friend’s wedding in which you were the best man, stayed in a hotel with all of his family, stuck close to each other because we didn’t really know anyone else. You told me how happy you were that I was there, because you needed a partner in crime to get through the whole thing. We had such a good time with Alex’s family, and they started to feel like our family. We went to another of your friends’ wedding, and we drank a lot of wine and danced harder and crazier than we ever had before. We laughed so much. You told me you loved the side of me you got to see that night. I loved seeing that side of you too.
We climbed up to (nearly) the top of a mountain and, again, looked down a world in miniature, with us standing high above it like giants or gods.
There are people I can go on adventures with now, but it isn’t the same. You were the best adventure companion, and now I just feel sad about doing exciting things and going exciting places because I don’t have you to share them with.
We wanted to go to Iceland together after we graduated. You were apprehensive, as per usual, and then I wasn’t able to find a job to be able to pay for the trip, so we didn’t go. I had always thought that we would go together someday. Now I’m making plans to go with someone else and it feels like cheating. Cheating on you because it was supposed to be our trip, and cheating on the other person because I would still rather go with you.