The lack of posts in the last week and a half can be explained in one small but earth-shattering phrase: graduation weekend.
My parents and youngest brother have been here for the past week and have been shacking up with me, which is both fun and slightly overwhelming. My parents met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time over dinner last Saturday. I donned a cap and gown on the hottest day Seattle has seen in recent months and sat through a three-hour long ceremony that pronounced me a college graduate and saw people that were once my friends, but who I will probably never speak to again, and felt immense peace about it. All of this is supposed to be like the transition period between being a college student and being a working adult and contributing member of society. This is not my life.
My life is disappointment. I’ve been applying to jobs for the past two and half months, jobs that I am insanely overqualified for, and cannot find employment anywhere. I heard on NPR today that having a college degree is not the impressive asset that it used to be, and I think my present condition is the manifestation of that sentiment. My degree does not mean shit to anyone that I’ve interviewed with, because I’m having to compete with people who aren’t college-educated but have way more experience than I do. People keep asking me how it feels to be a college graduate, and keep telling me what a huge accomplishment it is to get my degree, but truthfully, it doesn’t feel like anything to me because having a degree has not done anything good for me thus far.
NPR also said that it is becoming more common for people to get jobs based on networking and connections, rather than through education or experience. Which is just adding insult to injury for me because I don’t have very many connections, and the ones that I do have that I’ve tried to use to my advantage haven’t even been able to be translated into a job.
I just feel hopeless so much of the time. Like, what is the point of emailing my resume in response to a Craigslist ad when I know that 90% of the companies I email will never respond and that 30% of the ads I respond to are scams anyway? I had one position that I interviewed for and made it down to the top two candidates, but what’s the point of interviewing for any position when I know that if it’s between me and one other person, the other person probably has more experience and will be chosen over me? It’s so hard to keep sending resumes and filling out applications and calling to check up on my application status because there has been nothing encouraging that has resulted from it. I just keep getting doors shut in my face and promised phone calls that never come. Sometimes I think I should just go live with my parents in Georgia, for free, for a year and then go to graduate school directly after. At this point, it seems like there’s nothing I can do with what I presently have. I either need more education, or more experience, to get anywhere.
It’s a depressing and frustrating life I’ve become accustomed to. I think this photo accurately sums up my current attitude: