finals: done. i am one quarter away from graduating, and the thought of it makes me want to dance for joy while simultaneously sticking my head in a garbage disposal.

i went to my english department’s christmas party last friday, and it was a mixed bag. i tried to get my english major bestie to accompany me as my wingman, but he bailed at the last minute, so i flew solo. it was incredibly depressing in the sense that it made me realize that, even though i’ve made a lot of progress in the past couple years, i still have a long way to go in overcoming my shyness and social anxiety. most of the students i didn’t know really well, and it seemed like everyone came in a group and they all clung together… and there were so many damn people in a small small room that it got so hot and sweaty and uncomfortable. i had to keep escaping to the kitchen for air and it was kind of awkward. i just hung on the side wall and acted as the silent observer (a role i have perfected). eventually i started talking to some of the professors, and stopped hating my life. i had some really good conversations with different professors about new award-winning books, the amanda knox trial, gender roles in vampire narratives, racial tensions in the south, and women in my age group who perceive children as life-ruiners. i love my professors: they are equal parts brilliant and hilarious and profoundly kind. somehow i know how to talk to them without feeling extreme discomfort, just not my peers. i am abnormal. i hate it.

on a completely different note, all upper-middle class homes in seattle look exactly the same… same squeaky hardwood floors, same room setups, same crown molding. just an observation.


One response to “oy.

  1. How did you put the “Notify me of new posts via email”?

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