a proclamation of love.

i love bette davis.

i love her because she was gorgeous and sassy in her youth, and because she was scary and creepy in her older years. i watched whatever happened to baby jane? last night and was torn between feeling utterly awed and utterly frightened by bette davis’ psychotic character, baby jane.

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sometimes the scariest types of people are the ones who don’t know how to transition from childhood to adulthood. which creates a strategic segue-way for this thought:

capstone was incredibly intense tonight because this professor, who has always seemed to me very serious and stoic, completely poured out his heart to us. apparently he had a really awful relationship with his father, and that affected his faith because, as he said, people tend to superimpose the image of their biological father over what they imagine (or expect) their heavenly father to be like. which is something i’ve found to be tragically true. it seems that it would be almost impossible for people who have dysfunctional relationships with their fathers to embark on a functional relationship with god, or to even be attracted to such a thing; and it is, i suppose, a sad fact of psychology that someone looking to find solace or peace in a spiritual being can be thwarted by their past, arrested by it even, to where they can’t grow, but remain stuck in a conditioned state of sadness or self-deprecation because that’s all they’ve known, and all they think they deserve. i guess my thought is: is this an unfair (albeit completely arbitrary) advantage?

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